Gratitude

Every year, when we visited our motherland, I felt as if it were another holiday trip. Though I was brought to life there, I felt more attached to the land which brought me up for 15 years. 

Even though I only visited my motherland once every year, that one month flew by in a blink of an eye because my itinerary was packed. Visiting my relatives made up the bulk of it and shopping, sightseeing made up the rest. 

Usually, around 10 days of that one month was set aside for visiting my paternal grandparents. Initially, I felt that those 10 days were pretty boring compared to the rest of my trip since I mostly stayed at home throughout the 10 days. Since my paternal grandparents were quite old, their physique did not allow them to travel within the city or play with us (common ageing issues). Since my other cousins would not visit my grandparents during that time since their holidays fell in a different time period, it was just my grandparents, my parents and my younger brother. Usually my parents would head out for most of the day since they had many official matters and health check ups to tend to. So, it was just me, my brother and my grandparents. At first, I felt that my first few visits were not as interesting. It was just about eating, sleeping, watching tv at times and helping my grandparents do some household chores. Sometimes I would feel tired and would dread doing the chores but soon after I realised how much effort my grandparents had put in for us to ensure that we enjoy our stay there, I regarded it as my duty as a filial granddaughter.  My grandfather would bring us to the supermarket nearby and buy all of our favorite fruits and vegetables though he had difficulties moving about. My grandmother would always greet us with a cheerful smile on our face in the morning though I knew that she had many chores to do that would challenge her physically and mentally throughout the day. For our morning drink, since my brother, my grandfather and I would want different drinks such as coffee,tea and horlicks respectively, she would make all of those drinks separately without ever complaining about it. Moreover, although my grandmother had more health constraints as she had severe knee pain and could not stand for long periods or walk, except for within the house for short distances, she would cook all of our favourite dishes for breakfast, lunch and dinner, despite having had to stand for really long periods of time. 

Even now, I am absolutely dumbfounded as to how she never ever showed a sign of irritation or exhaustion when she was posed with such mentally and physically taxing tasks. Given her age, I was really shocked how she managed to do all those without losing perfection. She would even want us to stay longer though she knew that it would equate to much more work. Food is really a form of art which serves as a form of expression of the emotions that the chef had. My grandmother would always always always cook really well and would cook whatever we wanted though those dishes required much more effort to cook. She is really the best chef that i know of: a chef who never failed to pour in affection and care into every dish she cooked. Seriously, at the age of 68, it is no joke to cook by oneself, not forgetting the high standard of the food cooked. At the age of 16, i already dread washing the dishes, but my grandmother used to cook all these wonderful dishes and wash all the vessels and our plates too… This meant that she had to strain her knees, which was already a pain in the neck for her, but she did it for us…It was no mean feat!

I used to chip in as much as I could by doing some of the chores such as sweeping the floor, hanging the clothes to reduce the burden on my grandparents as much as I could. However, last december, when I visited India as usual, i came down with a bacterial infection. It was really very painful and difficult to put through with it. However, that meant that not only could i not help my grandparents but that they had to do more,mainly my grandmother, to take care of me. Every night I used to wake up since I felt very nauseous. My grandmother, who used to sleep next to me, would wake up immediately as well despite having been through an exhausting day, to check on my wellbeing. Moreover, she would cook porridge for me, in addition to the dishes she cooked for the rest of my family. Moreover, since I could not eat properly, I would avoid eating and would choose to sleep. However, she would walk to the room and would convince me to eat the porridge so that I would have the strength to handle the bacterium that invaded my body. But, by then the porridge would have turned cold and she would heat it up even though i was fine with eating slightly cold porridge. She would ensure that I took my medicines and would apply the cream on my forehead whenever I had headaches. Though she was old and was already challenged by her health issues and further challenged by the addition of chores, she would never fail to ensure that I was recovering and that we were happy.

After I managed to recover, she cooked all of my favourite dishes and she would usually cook more so that there would be enough to eat for everyone. However, there would always be leftovers since we could not finish and instead of eating the food she cooked for dinner, she would finish up the remaining rice and curry from lunch. But because of this, whe would not cook less the next day: she would always cook more so that everyone can have a hearty meal.

I would always sit by her when she was cooking and exercising and would ask her about her childhood and my father’s childhood ( her early parenthood). She would always think about it and would laugh for a bit and would start talking about them. It was really interesting to hear how she was brought up back then and how she brought up my father, my aunt and my uncle. She would share her life lessons and would share some valuable advice.

These stories and advice are still etched in my mind as these stories and the moments I shared with her for the past few years have become the last… How I wish I had spent more time with her when she was around… Truly, a great person.

Circuit breaker

I am sure many of you are well aware of the situation and it is nearly impossible to avoid the topic on the novel coronavirus. So why bring it up here as well?

Well, I understand that most of us are currently at home either due to lockdown or other government initiatives. So I would like to share how I utilise the time that i have and hope to spur some of my readers into action as well.

1) Catching up

So firstly, there were piles of school work to catch up on since there were assignments and extra practices posted across various educational platforms and also, for live lessons, we now use a variety of platforms to maximise our learning and this also means more toggling of tabs on the computer.  So it is essential that we are organised and don't wound ourselves in a state of frenzy. Thus, I ensured that I was clear headed and organised(more tips at the end of the post!). Moreover, although mid year examinations were called off in light of the crisis, we still do have end of year examinations and these topics still need to be revised thoroughly. So, I did some revision and notes on the topics that I was still unclear about. After getting a grip on the new mode of learning and it is time we build a new repertoire of learning strategies! Fret not because teachers are still there to help and there are also search engines out there stretching out a hand to help you. Just a simple search will do-  khan academy, amoeba sisters and crash course videos will come your way!(once again thank you to all the producers of these videos and several more! They really help a lot!)

2) Hobbies

I am sure it is not uncommon for people to set aside certain activities for a later time. Unsurprisingly, I had a long list of activities yet to be fulfilled. Learning new recipes, doing more DIY, creating vlogs, exercising at home, drawing and so on and so forth. I had a lot of downtime during the first two of weeks of the circuit breaker that has rolled by and I utilised it to bond with my family and friends and also had set aside some time to do some of the activities I had been yearning to. I started off to cook some new recipes and even made some vlogs. Then I also tried some minute colouring which truly is very therapeutic! 

3) Decluttering

This is something that i was pushed to do but no regrets! Initially, it is very difficult to kickstart the engine but once you have started, you will be on the roll and you will only want to stop after you have finished cleaning up that shelf of yours! With the need to be organised, this was absolutely helpful and satisfying!

Some tips to tide through this tough period~

1) Please appreciate the frontline workers as they are doing so much to protect us( Here's a very big thank you to all the frontline workers on my behalf!)

2) Be safe and wear a mask to prevent inhaling the coronaviruses which might be adhered to dust particles suspended in the air

3) Practice social distancing 

4) Try to avoid going out as much as possible

5) Send some funds to the organisations who are providing for those affected by this novel coronavirus(Chip in a bit of funds because after all, drops of water make the ocean!)

Some tips to stay organised and maximise your learning(tips that i find very helpful)...

- Start with your study shelves. Separate the books by subjects. Most importantly, file all your worksheets in an order you are comfortable with

- Mini booklets

I love to make these mini booklets. Just take an a4 sheet of paper and fold it in half. The front page    is the cover of the booklet and you can add in the content in the other three pages. If that is insufficient, you can fold another a4 paper and staple it to the back of the original booklet. These have proven to be very helpful for me and i hope they are for you as well!

- Timetable

Draw up a simple time table that you want to stick to and this can be easily done on google calendar    as well. I use google calendar because it sends notifications 10 minutes before the next activity that i have scheduled myself to do and it is very easy to adjust(after all most of our schedules are different for every week right?)

That's all for now! Stay safe and take care of your loved ones as well:)

Appreciation

Puzzled, lost, stranded.
I stood there bemused and stricken. Desperately typing in the bus code into the tiny screen that was surviving on a percent of battery, I yearned that the tiny inking of hope left in me would become wilder. However, all hope was lost. I was helpless. Even my trusted Google maps could not help me.

Looking around frantically, in search of a familiar creature,  I started to run. With fear and embarrassment making their appearance on my face, I wanted to break down. I wiped away the tear drop that rolled down my cheek. How could I be lost? Well I did manage to take a bus to this place... so there should be at least a few people in this area... But then again, if I am lost, how will I escape? How will I go back home? Will that hot chocolate my mother had given me in the morning be my last one? I tried to switch on that electronic gadget that had betrayed me once again. It was dead.
There I was with my electronic gadget that had barred me from communicating and seeking help from my loved ones. There I was dreading the decision to have taken the wrong bus because I was glued to that new tiktok my friend had posted. There I was missing all the simple yet memorable times I had spent at home. That one experience was enough, it was enough to teach me the importance of appreciation- though every day might seem boring and mundane to us(waking up at 6am to start the routine and returning home at 6pm after sports training or a long day at work), not everyone has those opportunities and there are people out there yearning for such a stable life in order to avoid being uncertain if there will even be food on their plates the next day. That one experience was enough to teach me that we need to strike a balance between the two worlds- the virtual one and the actual one. That one experience was enough to teach me how much more there was out there in the world  that I needed to learn.
After having sprinted my way along the road that the bus journeyed with me, I was lost once again. I wanted to demystify the situation. I was so puzzled as to what had happened to me that I was clouded with so much of negativity.- so much that I could not handle. I halted. I had alighted from the train as per usual and had made my way to bus stop. Suddenly my phone started notifying me incessantly and I started to pacify it by clicking on the notifications. Before I knew I was scrolling through the new posts that appeared on Tik Tok. I realised I was getting late for my usual morning morning class. I boarded the bus that came to the bus stop without realising that I was the only one that had boarded the bus when usually people will swarm into the bus that I usually take to go to the class. After I finished watching the video, I looked around to check if the bus stop I needed to alight had arrived. To my horror, all I saw were trees, trees and more trees. I alighted fearing that it would take me to even more unfamiliar places and also becauseI was too shy to ask the driver how I could make it back to the train station. I regretted it, very much. I tried to search Google maps hoping it would help me get to my class on time and save me from that unfamiliar place. It showed that I could only drive my way out. I knew that it was failing me as going by logic, if I had came to that place by a bus, I should also be able to make my way out of the place by a bus, right? However since I had no clue as to how to take the bus back to the familiar train station, I scrambled through my wallet in search of some cash to take a taxi to the train station. I was that helpless! However, I realised that I was only left with  a few dollars as I had spent my money on breakfast. I could also not access grab as my phone chose to betray me and leave me helpless; the battery had drained.

After I was clear with the situation and how I had ended up in that place, I looked around once again. The meditation classes had helped! I was in a state of calm and I saw a construction site a stone’s throw away. Energy surged in me. I saw a fellow human!!! Hope pounced onto me as I jolted into motion.Then again, fear gripped me- I was too afraid to talk to others as I feared that I might be judged. However, I threw that fear away, my situation mandated me to. I approached the worker and asked him how I could go back to the train station. Seeing that my face was coated with sweat and that I was very worried, he said “The train station is not in this year”. The hope in me left me as fast as it had entered. I wanted to quickly explain how I actually took a bus to that place and the words ran up my throat but soon braked as he started to continue with his advice. “ Walk to the bus stop down the road and board the bus(which also happened to be the same bus I took to that place) and alight from the bus after nine more stops. This is a construction area and this is the only bus that travels through this area.” he said, in a very calm manner. I thanked him profusely as only I knew how much the directions meant to me. I thanked him once again before I ran back to that bus stop with a smile inching its way on my face. I was so thankful for the worker. If not for his directions, I would have been lost and late for my class. I boarded the bus and glanced at the numerous construction sites and trees that it drove past. Initially, I was quite scrared as the train station and houses were nowhere to be seen. But just like what the worker had told me, the train station arrived. My eyes brightened up upon seeing fellow human beings and familiar places. I was safe. I made it back without the use of my phone. Relief flooded through my mind.
I glanced at my watch, ten minutes more to the start of my class. I waited for the bus and boarded the right one this time around. I made it in time for the class and my friend asked me why I was perspiring so much. I stared at her with a sneaky smile.

Although this situation might be illogical or even comedic to some, only I knew how worried and panicked I was. I had learnt so much that day and had also escaped from the fear of speaking to strangers  to seek help. From a girl who used to think twice to even ask the cashier if there were any discounts for the things I had bought, I had changed. I had changed and I was proud of it as I was now more confident to express my thoughts and seek help from others I do not even know, if such a need arises. But most importantly, I learnt to appreciate the people around me and be thankful for the routined life I am able to live.